so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
That was before I lit my hair on fire
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
