i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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