Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize