Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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