will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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