just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
