so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize