That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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