I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
