Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
