i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
