When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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