Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
