You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
