Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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