I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
