am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Dating After Heartbreak
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma