This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
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Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
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I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.