They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.