so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.