I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
