just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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