Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
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