Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.