i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize