Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
my sisters under your porch take her home
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
