We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
