Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
