Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Randomize
