In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
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I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
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Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
How naked do you want me to be?
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