After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
