So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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