Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
