Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
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I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
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Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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