pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
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Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
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I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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