she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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