Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
