No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
