New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
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