Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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