I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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