2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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