I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
