just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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