hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
