i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
