his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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