this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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