Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
