the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
