I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
