my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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