My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
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every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
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