I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
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I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
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my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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