Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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