He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
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She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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