I can't breathe out the right side of my face
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
