No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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