I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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