atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
