I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
