***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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