ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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