that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
