Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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