The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
