I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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