I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
