We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
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We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
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We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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