She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize